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A relationship is the second of four important reasons why human beings are sexual beings. To fall in love, have a happy relationship and getting married is an equal important and most common dream of almost all children and teenagers. Marriage and relationships are the cornerstones of our society and family life. Without a loving relationship life loses much of its meaningfulness and its joyfulness. Both partners often gain deep inner self-fulfillment by fulfilling the sexual needs of the other person – the receivable lover or spouse. Nothing gives a person more satisfaction in a relationship as when he or she is able to satisfy his or her partner sexually. Physical sexual fulfillment, psychological sexual fulfillment as well as mutual intimacy on all levels are core needs in relationships. Sexuality plays a central role in creating intimacy in a relationship - Lemmer, 2015, 2019

Academy for Sexology

  1. SEX, SEXUALITY AND SEXOLOGY
The word sexology is a combination of 2 words sex (meaning sexuality) and logy (meaning science). The word sex in sexology is a short way of saying sexuality. We’ll rather use the short word cell instead of cellular phone. Let’s be short and sweet with sex. Sex is a short way of speaking of sexuality. Sex and sexuality are both positive, aesthetic, ethically good words. Sex = sexuality. Sexology = the scientific studies of sexuality. Only a SEX POSITIVE paradigm switch on all levels of society can heal our society...
  1. WE CAN HEAL OUR SOCIETY BY: A new SEX POSITIVE way of thinking, feeling and behaving sexually on all levels. Start now with a new sex positive way of thinking about sex as sexuality...
SEXUALITY is the core of being human throughout life - from conception to death – from the beginning of life to the end of life. Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical and religious and spiritual factors” (World Health Organisation, 2000 - implemented in 35 BS and 45 MS modules by Prof Lemmer, the Academy for Sexology and translated to grassroots level by Sexology SA)
  1. Advocating and implementing a practical, all-inclusive, holistic, scientifically-grounded ETHICS OF SEX based on a SEX POSITIVE paradigm. We need to restore our core value systems. We need to heal our ethical roots in general, but specifically our sexual ethics roots. This has nothing to do with superficial, moralistic don’ts or different religious rules and dogmas. Implementing the Academy of Sexology International’s modules on ethics of sex, is a good start.
  2. The following are examples of important values/ethics of sexuality: Authenticity, Respect, Informed-Consent, Enhancement of Good Sexual Self-Esteem, Love, Integrity, Equality, Diversity on all levels, Ethics on Sexuality in Private versus Public, Non-Sexism, Non-Racism, Non-Judgemental, Sex-Positive Attitude, Quality Sexual Education, Open-Mindedness, Enhancement of Sexual Knowledge, Sexual Skills and Sexual Attitudes, Sex Communication, Sexual Preferences, Sexual Chemistry, Sexual Desire, Sexual Arousal, Sexual Performance, Sexual Orgasm, Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Engagement, Sexual Meaningfulness, Sexual Pleasures, Individual - & Societal Sexual Boundaries.
  3. By adhering to and/or implementing:
  • World Health Organisation’s policy on sexual health (2000) - UNESCO sanctioned
  • Recognition of Prior Learning (RPL) in many countries worldwide (UNESCO & RSA Law)
  • Constitution of the Republic of South Africa
  • Human Sexual Rights
  • Sex Education to all on all NQF levels with practical outcomes
  • Love-sex relationship courses, videos and questionnaires
  • Community projects – restoring values, sexual ethics, practical courses on sexuality (parental sex education etc.)
  • South Africa, and ALL our people, can no longer be deprived of the healing of holistic sexology and sexuality education, from the highest (NQF 10 plus level) up to grassroots level.
  1. SEXOLOGY SA: VISION & MISSION
Sexology SA, together with all its supporters, partners and affiliate institutes, want to make South Africa a better place to live ... with less crime and (gender-based) violence ... with a SEX POSITIVE way of thinking, feeling and behaving sexually ... Sexology SA dream of a country with happy individuals, -couples and -families ... with more and more people who are experiencing the meaningfulness, pleasures, joys and healing of positive, holistic sexuality. Thuma Mina – me, you, all of us.
  1. SEXOLOGY SA CANNOT DO IT WITHOUT YOU – YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
  • Join Sexology SA. Let your voice be heard. Sexology SA belongs to the public of South Africa.
  • Be listed as a supporter of Sexology SA (yearly / monthly stop-order with the option of your details on our website or even a once-off donation).
  • Empower sexology financially and become a shareholder / director / business partner.
  • We urgently need the support of Corporate Business & Government in many ways.
  • Study sexology at any level depending your qualifications, skills and experience
  • Get involved in our projects. Volunteer to act in our sex education videos or volunteer to visit schools, churches and groups in communities to empower parents, children and teachers in enhancing sexual values and sex education in a cultural context. Email: support@sexology.co.za
"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." ~ Nelson Mandela (1918 – 2013)

LOVE-SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP

Sexuality is all about a) procreation (getting babies, raising them and parenthood), b) love-relationships c) personal and collective recreational fun and orgasmic pleasure, but also d) physical- , emotional- and spiritual sexual health & well-being. Relationship sexology focuses on the love and sex in the relationship (us) and the love and sex of the individuals (you and me) involved in the relationship. Sexuality is not only meant to produce babies. It is also meant to be enjoyed as an erotic feast of life, pleasure and ecstasy. But it is even more. Sexuality is the artistic vehicle to express and celebrate the deepest and most intimate relationship between two people (or more) in love. Therefore, sexuality finds its fulfillment best in a meaningful relationship. Thus a spiritual sexual unity is formed that transcends all our ultimate bodily pleasures and our deepest emotions and we experience eternity... ... A relationship is the second of four important reasons why human beings are sexual beings. To fall in love, have a happy relationship and getting married is an equal important and most common dream of almost all children and teenagers. Marriage and relationships are the cornerstones of our society and family life. Without a loving relationship life loses much of its meaningfulness and its joyfulness. Both partners often gain deep inner self-fulfillment by fulfilling the sexual needs of the other person – the receivable lover or spouse. Nothing gives a person more satisfaction in a relationship as when he or she is able to satisfy his or her partner sexually. Physical sexual fulfillment, psychological sexual fulfillment as well as mutual intimacy on all levels are core needs in relationships. Sexuality plays a central role in creating intimacy in a relationship.”(Lemmer, 2015, 2019). Dr Barnaby Barratt once wrote: “Sexuality is the source of all creative, spiritual, emotional, and relational growth. Yet, too often, sexual pleasure becomes the focus of shame and guilt, the centre of our most secret conflicts, and the area in which we have been most deeply hurt and wounded. Since overcoming the pain of my own childhood, I have been committed to helping others achieve their potential for sexual health, healing, and happiness. It is my intention that those who seek my expertise will find me available, helpful, and caring”. (Barratt, 2005). The third core element of human sexuality is recreation, fun and pleasure. Milton Diamond, former president of the Society for the Scientific Studies of Sexuality and Professor of Anatomy and Reproductive Biology in Hawaii, emphasizes that “having children is not the purpose of most sexual activity. And the ubiquity of self-stimulation from birth to tomb is testimony that sexual pleasure does not always require a partner…Sex gives pleasure…Sex provides release from tension.” (Diamond, 1984, p. 11). “In typical female sexual-recreation, the whole body, the breasts, the vagina, the anus and mainly the outer & inner clitoris, are the core physical elements responsible for women to enjoy ultimate sexual pleasure during their lifespan. In typical male sexuality-recreation the physical focus is more on the penis, the testicles, the anus and the prostate. A healthy mental sexual desire (libido), sexual bodily arousal (erection / lubrication) and skilled sexual performance (foreplay, orgasm & after play) are necessities in order to achieve ultimate sexual pleasure & deep physical-, emotional- and spiritual satisfaction. Sex and love are two different sides of one coin (relationship sexology). In the past men tend to express their desire for sex more while women tend to express their desire for love more. Luckily, this is rapidly changing with the sexual empowerment of women.” (Lemmer, 2015, 2019). It is important to note that all partners in a love relationship has each their own personal sexuality as well as a shared sexuality as a couple. An ideal love-sex relationship is when all 3 circles are in balance (see the diagram below) with C as focus point to achieve ultimate sexual fulfillment and deep physical-, emotional- and spiritual satisfaction. (Lemmer 2019)

  1. RELATIONSHIP SEXOLOGY
    • Core Elements of a Relationship
2.2. Diversity & Dynamics of Relationships It is important to understand the complexity of the dynamics of a relationship as well as the diversity regarding the different kinds of relationships.
  1. a) Every relationship has its own unique dynamics.
  2. b) There are many different ways to structure a relationship (each with its own pros and cons). In the Christian Bible at least five different formal structures of relationships and family life are described. Matriarchy / Patriarchy / Tribal / Mono-Amory, Polyamory are examples of what lies underneath the surface of these relationship structures.
Examples of relationship structures are monogamy, polygamy, a variety of polyamory relationship structures, Living Apart Together (LAT), open relationships, swinging etc.  
  • Diagnoses & Prognosis of a Relationship
There are always at least three partners involved in every relationship: I, YOU and US. The relationship therapist should always act in the interest of ALL THREE “partners” where the I and the YOU are of a slightly higher priority than the US (relationship). (This doesn’t mean that the relationship therapist takes sole professional responsibility for the individuals – referring individuals to a relevant professional colleague is most of the time necessary.) DIAGNOSIS = the current status quo (situation) / “problems” / “issues” of the a) the YOU (other), the I (self) and especially the US (the relationship). PROGNOSIS = what are the prospects of the relationship? What are the chances / possibilities of solving the above “problems” / “issues” of the a) the YOU (other), the I (self) and especially the US (the relationship)? PERSONALITY plays a major role in every relationship. Nothing is more important than to know, understand & accept who your partner really is (and who you really are). PERCEPTIONS are just as important in every relationship, but perceptions are most of the time based on feelings and intuition rather than on real facts. It is human that we all have presupposed perceptions of every individual involved in the relationship regarding the I, YOU and US.
  1. SEXOLOGY SA: A VARIETY OF PRODUCTS ON RELATIONSHIP SEXOLOGY.
3.1. Sexual Pleasure & Recreation Videos 3.2. Advanced Sex Education 3.3. Short Courses (Certificate) 3.4. Professional Sexuality Questionnaires (Evaluate you and/or your partner
  1. A professionally designed questionnaire with detailed and explicit questions about sexual fantasies and sexual behavior. 30,000 participants. UK-study.
  2. A comprehensive in-depth questionnaire on the sexual being and sexual behavior of the youth. Soweto 2010.
  3. Master’s quantitative and qualitative research questionnaires on the sexuality of Afrikaans-speaking Christians.
  4. A variety of short practical questionnaires to evaluate your own personal sexuality, the current status / diagnoses of your relationship and the prognoses - what is the future of our relationship- is it worth working on?
  5. Personal love-sex profiling questionnaires.
  6. Questionnaires on what type of a life/love partner will be the best for me.
  7. Many more ...
Email: support@sexology.co.za

Sex Education

  • Basic Sex Education Short Courses (Available online)
  • Advanced Sex Education Certificate Courses (Available online)
  1. EMPOWERING PARENTS TO GIVE THEIR CHILDREN THE BEST SEX EDUCATION POSSIBLE
2.1. Parent-Child Sex Education Videos (Not yet available) 2.2. Basic Parent-Child Sex Education Short Courses (Available online) Teaching age-appropriate information, skills and attitudes based on World Health Organisation’s Standards on Sex Education and applied to South Africa with its cultural diversities.
  1. a) From birth up to 4/5 years old
  2. b) Before puberty and menarche (beginning of menstruation)
  3. c) During and after puberty (variety of age groups depending the physical and emotional development of your child
1.3. Advanced Parent-Child Sex Education Certificate Courses on the above and much more. (Available online) Email: support@sexology.co.za

The status of the academy for sexology in south africa

Sexology can be studied online at the Academy of Sexology International (recognised world-wide and in South Africa via RPL) but sexology cannot yet be studied at the Academy for Sexology in South Africa 1 The Academy for Sexology in South Africa – Research Institution in South Africa since 2008

  • The Academy for Sexology (Pty) Ltd is an active, registered, legal company in the RSA and in business since 2008.
  • The Academy for Sexology (Pty) Ltd is a Research Institution on the Scientific Studies of Sexuality with overwhelming world-wide peer recognition on many continents.
  • The Academy for Sexology (Pty) Ltd is not a University, not SAQA accredited, and we did/do not yet award degrees in sexology. However, we are, since 2009 - to date, registered with the HEQC-online as an academic institution. We are in an advanced process to get our South African BS (NQF 8), MS (NQF 9) and DS (NQF 10) SAQA accredited via the HEQC.
  • Since the early 2000’s we actively contributed to the development and the implementation of SAQA’s RPL, Qualifications and Designations and Professional Body policies. Our Clinical-and Forensic Sexology team supply successfully a variety of professional medico-legal reports to the North Gauteng, South Gauteng and Free State High Courts.
  • The Academy for Sexology (Pty) Ltd is a service provider in South Africa to i) Sexology SA,(public RSA) ii) the Council for Sexual Health Professionals NPC (professionals RSA) www.cshp.co.za and iii) internationally to the Academy of Sexology International Limited (qualifications) with the website sexology.ac
  • Since the early 2000’s we continuously develop internationally curricula for sexology on NQF 8, 9 and 10 levels
  • Our academic standards and curricula are for the past two decades recognised world-wide and in South Africa via RPL (Recognition of Prior Learning) and renown peer recognition.
  • The Scientific Studies of Sexuality and all our curricula are mandated by the World Health Organization’s policy on Sexual Health (2000) with UNESCO sanction; Human Sexual Rights & the Constitution of the RSA.
2) Please note the different websites: sexology.co.za for 1 above, and sexology.ac for 2 below. 3) The Academy of Sexology International offers Bachelors, Masters and Doctoral degrees which are world-wide recognised via RPL (Recognition of Prior Learning). 20 degrees (11 BS, 7 MS and 2 DS hc) were awarded between 2011 and 2018. The quality of the academic and professional careers of most of the 20 graduates from the Academy of Sexology International, speak for itself.

Career Outcome

To all professionals of sexuality in SA: register now with the CSHP. Protect the public from mal-practices, protect yourself from prosecution, and advocate your profession’s ethical credibility. The HPCSA (doctors, psychologists etc.), the SACSSP (social workers) and the Council for Sexual Health Professions NPC (CSHP)

  • Sexologists, therapists of sexuality and counsellors of sexuality are not registered (allowed to or require to register) with the Health Professional Council of SA (HPCSA), but with the Council for Sexual Health Professions NPC (CSHP) just as Social Workers are not registered with the HPCSA or the CSHP but with the South African Council for Social Service Professions (SACSSP).
  • HPCSA is a statutory professional body regulated by law while the CSHP (previously Council for Sexual Health Professions of Sexology SA) is the only legal non-statutory professional body for Sexologists, therapists of sexuality and counsellors of sexuality and for the past 13 years in South Africa.
  • It is very important to note that medical doctors and psychologists who specialise in sexuality are bound by the HPCSA’s professional codes of conduct, and that neither them, nor the public, are protected regarding bio-medico-sexual therapy or psycho- sexual therapy. That is why renown psychologists and medical doctors register with the CSHP as well as with the HPCSA. The only legal way for doctors, psychologists and social workers, with practices which involve sexuality, is to register as an EXPERT OF SEXUALITY with the CSHP and, by doing this, protect themselves and more important - the public. The CSHP has strict but realistic internationally ethical codes of conduct for a variety of Sexual Health Professions. The CSHP have 4 membership categories: A-Sexologists, Sexual Therapists and Sexual Counsellors; B-Experts of Sexuality (doctors, psychologists, physiotherapists, social workers etc.) ; C-Sexperts (soma-sexual therapists, tantra therapists etc.) and D-Commercial Sexuality.
  • Contact between the HPCSA and the CSHP: Dr Kwinda (HPCSA Ombudsman) initiated contact between the HPCSA, Prof Lemmer and the CSHP during 2015. He received all the information he was asking for, evaluated it and set up a personal meeting with Prof Lemmer. During this meeting Dr Kwinda confirmed the unique professional place of the CSHP and Sexology (integration of bio-medical, psycho, socio & cultural) as not in conflict with the HPCSA and with a unique place next to (parallel with) the HPCSA, with shared as well as separately interests. He recommended double membership (HPCSA & CSHP) for some professional experts in sexuality who are registered as members with the HPCSA. Prof Lemmer is the current president (and 1 of 5 directors) of the Council for Sexual Health Professions NPC (CSHP), which exchange and mutually recognized, formal CPD training with the Health Professional Council of SA (HPCSA). Members of both the HPCSA and the CSHP have received certificates in the past regarding CPD points through CPD training from the HPCSA to CSHP members and from the CSHP to HPCSA members.
  • The World Health Organisation (2000) on Sexology
“As an interdisciplinary science, sexology is uniquely placed to bring together the knowledge and expertise of specialists, the diverse agendas of various advocacy groups, the health concerns of communities, and the methodologies and interests of diverse disciplines. For this reason, it is critical that sexology is promoted as a discipline/profession. It is not sufficient for specialists from other disciplines to apply their fields of expertise to the study of Sexual Health”. WHO 2000 p.28.
  • The CSHP and Sexology SA has a clear de facto and de jure legal, scientific and ethical mandate from:
    1. World Health Organisation’s policy on sexual health (2000) - UNESCO sanctioned
    2. Recognition of Prior Learning (RPL) in many countries worldwide (UNESCO & RSA Law)
    3. Constitution of the Republic of South Africa (RSA Law)
    4. Human Sexual Rights (UNESCO, WHO, WAS)

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